Well, today I am writting cause there is nothing much to do. As you can see from my last two posts, I was very cheerful or what can you say simply happy.
But today is different.
I was going to my church and my father messaged me. He told me that I should be strong and responsible, take care of my cute little sister. He told me that he loves us but he is going to leave us. What can hurt more when you don't want your father to leave?
He also told me that he had good times with me and this may be the last message that I will recieve from him. And plus, get this, at the last sentence he said that he might give mom a lot of responsibilities and he won't be able to help...
Who could not be sad? I know I should be angry but I can't.
Even he disappoints me or even fail. I still love him. Him as my father, I really like it even there are problems.
Tell you some chunks from my past, when my mom was at her last year at college, she was pregnant; me inside. My real father did not turn up in the hospital or even my baptism. He never did show himself to me.
I was fatherless for my first six years of my life. And it affected me so much because at that time, I'm very emotional, cold hearted and suicidal.
At 2005, they got married and eventually my mom is pregnant again. My sister Kaoru. But at 2006, my mom fled to Singapore to work. Then I was at the care of my grandmother at my mom's side and my sister to the father's side. Addition, my father works very far from us. A three hour journey from the city we lived in.
In 2009, my father went to abroad where mom is to work also. Which still left me a scar on the heart. I don't see them often and they are very far from me.
I want to dedicate thia to my father: Dad, if you ever found this blog entry, I'm sorry if I was a problem maker at home. Many times that I had been disappointed to you is gone. But still a deep scar is on my heart right now. Why just leave us like that? Well, I guess that message is already good bye. Dad, I love you so much... Please don't fprget those good memories we built.
From your daughter, Erika.
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